Not long ago, a student shared feeling glum and left out because her friends were laughing about a meme circulating on their group chat. “I know it is silly,” she said, “but I feel so left out… the jokes keep coming and I’m clueless about the context!”. Her words capture a familiar reality for current times: in a world where friendships and conversations increasingly unfold on screens, being away -- even briefly-- can sometimes feel like missing out on an entire slice of life!
The appeal of social media is undeniable. Its pull is real for both adults and adolescents . However, for young people, in their formative years, the stakes are significantly higher. As neural pathways are being rapidly refined and strengthened, one can understand how habits formed during the adolescent years can cement into patterns that last well into adulthood. In such a context, the hours spent scrolling through reels, stories, and posts not only serve as entertainment but actively shape developing habits, emotions, and self-worth.
Many young people often wonder, “But how else do you stay in on the chatter?” It is true that social media allows individuals to stay “connected” and “in the loop.” It is impressive how informed they are about issues concerning mental health, geopolitics, or pop culture… or heartening to learn about the many platforms that also become communities of support for “strangers” online.
However, many students admit to feeling out of sync with peers whom they see in school every day but are unable to connect with on social media apps. And while it is important to reflect on the quality of these connections, it might not be the first thing on young people’s minds. Conversely, many discuss friendships they have formed with classmates through hours of heart-to-heart chats online, which would seem far too effortful or awkward in real-time. The quiet irony that shines through is that the very tool that promises closeness can also deepen one’s sense of loneliness and all of it in the pursuit of the very human need to be seen, to be heard and to belong.
But the question looms: are we forging connections in the virtual world at the cost of being disconnected from real-world pursuits, interests, and relationships? - Think about the times you might have said or heard someone say “Yes, of course I’m listening. I was just quickly responding to a text”.
While research offers guidelines about the slippery slope of “too much,” in current times, when students meander through online spaces for learning, social interactions, games and entertainment, it is hardly plausible to expect them to stick to a prescribed number of hours of screen usage.
Be ethical and kind online. As digital citizens, students must understand their role in creating a safe online space for themselves and others. This involves being mindful of the nature of content they choose to post and share with others, and recognising that their online words carry weight too.
When in doubt, ask yourself, “Is what I am saying kind, necessary and accurate? Is my tone polite, curious or judgmental?”
Set mindful limits. Do you find yourself reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, or when you leave your desk for a break? Rather than treating screens as a go-to filler for boredom, think about creating room for interests, learning a new skill, or catching up with a loved one. Take it up a notch and think of incorporating a gadget-free hour before bedtime or during meals and family time. Look up apps that can help you monitor and eventually cut back on your screen time .
Stay informed about safety. It is imperative to stay up to speed with evolving risks and safety practices in the digital world. Schools and families can play an important role here in educating young individuals about staying safe in the cyber world and supervising screen usage at home and school.
The balance we seek
If we were to discuss the relative pros and cons of technology, there would be as many opinions as there are people. But there’s no denying that the digital world is here to stay and evolve, even as we speak. The balance then lies in choosing to incorporate technology into our lives without alarm, but with conscious and intentional use. For young individuals grappling with questions about identity and self, the idea is then to use technology as a means to build on, rather than replace, life in the “real” world, while placing their emotional, psychological, and social well-being at the center.
Shravana Barua, Child and Adolescent Counselling Psychologist, School Counsellor, Shiv Nadar School, Gurgaon
The appeal of social media is undeniable. Its pull is real for both adults and adolescents . However, for young people, in their formative years, the stakes are significantly higher. As neural pathways are being rapidly refined and strengthened, one can understand how habits formed during the adolescent years can cement into patterns that last well into adulthood. In such a context, the hours spent scrolling through reels, stories, and posts not only serve as entertainment but actively shape developing habits, emotions, and self-worth.
Many young people often wonder, “But how else do you stay in on the chatter?” It is true that social media allows individuals to stay “connected” and “in the loop.” It is impressive how informed they are about issues concerning mental health, geopolitics, or pop culture… or heartening to learn about the many platforms that also become communities of support for “strangers” online.
However, many students admit to feeling out of sync with peers whom they see in school every day but are unable to connect with on social media apps. And while it is important to reflect on the quality of these connections, it might not be the first thing on young people’s minds. Conversely, many discuss friendships they have formed with classmates through hours of heart-to-heart chats online, which would seem far too effortful or awkward in real-time. The quiet irony that shines through is that the very tool that promises closeness can also deepen one’s sense of loneliness and all of it in the pursuit of the very human need to be seen, to be heard and to belong.
But the question looms: are we forging connections in the virtual world at the cost of being disconnected from real-world pursuits, interests, and relationships? - Think about the times you might have said or heard someone say “Yes, of course I’m listening. I was just quickly responding to a text”.
While research offers guidelines about the slippery slope of “too much,” in current times, when students meander through online spaces for learning, social interactions, games and entertainment, it is hardly plausible to expect them to stick to a prescribed number of hours of screen usage.
- Instead, if balance is the goal, students and families need intentional, practical strategies without being overwhelmed by lofty resolutions:
- Guard against unhealthy comparison. Our profiles and feeds on social media are often carefully “curated” to reflect the good times. It is easy to forget that we all have imperfect lives, and the tough times might not always make it to the gram!
- Remind yourself gently, “I am my own person, with a journey worth honouring. My life isn’t perfect, but I have something of value to offer the world simply by being myself.”
Be ethical and kind online. As digital citizens, students must understand their role in creating a safe online space for themselves and others. This involves being mindful of the nature of content they choose to post and share with others, and recognising that their online words carry weight too.
When in doubt, ask yourself, “Is what I am saying kind, necessary and accurate? Is my tone polite, curious or judgmental?”
Set mindful limits. Do you find yourself reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, or when you leave your desk for a break? Rather than treating screens as a go-to filler for boredom, think about creating room for interests, learning a new skill, or catching up with a loved one. Take it up a notch and think of incorporating a gadget-free hour before bedtime or during meals and family time. Look up apps that can help you monitor and eventually cut back on your screen time .
Stay informed about safety. It is imperative to stay up to speed with evolving risks and safety practices in the digital world. Schools and families can play an important role here in educating young individuals about staying safe in the cyber world and supervising screen usage at home and school.
The balance we seek
If we were to discuss the relative pros and cons of technology, there would be as many opinions as there are people. But there’s no denying that the digital world is here to stay and evolve, even as we speak. The balance then lies in choosing to incorporate technology into our lives without alarm, but with conscious and intentional use. For young individuals grappling with questions about identity and self, the idea is then to use technology as a means to build on, rather than replace, life in the “real” world, while placing their emotional, psychological, and social well-being at the center.
Shravana Barua, Child and Adolescent Counselling Psychologist, School Counsellor, Shiv Nadar School, Gurgaon
You may also like
GST 2.0 poised to spur growth across sectors in Goa's economy
Olivia Attwood's grim reality of 'hard' marriage with her husband Bradley Dack
Dave Allen refuses to quit despite Arslanbek Makhmudov defeat
Two Man Utd stars Ruben Amorim could send to Crystal Palace in Adam Wharton swap
Bihar elections: NDA finalises seat-sharing; JD(U), BJP to contest 101 seats each
