Dating a Virgo? You're not in a relationship. You're in a performance review.

There’s dating, and then there’s dating a Virgo — which is basically auditioning for Succession but with fewer billion-dollar deals and more passive-aggressive to-do lists. While others get butterflies, Virgo ’s partners get a monthly feedback session and a Google Sheet titled “Areas for Improvement.”

Romantic dates? Sure. Just expect them to start with “So, let's circle back on your communication strategy,” and end with a slide deck on why texting back in under 10 minutes increases relationship KPIs.

Virgos don’t fall in love. They assess love. They analyze it like it’s a crime scene and everyone’s guilty of poor grammar and emotional inconsistency. There are post-its, spreadsheets, and the occasional internal audit of affection levels. No one is safe — not even the cat.

But don’t be mistaken. Beneath the laser-focused stare and ability to spot a typo in a love letter lies someone who cares deeply. Deeply enough to want things done right. Their version of “I love you” sounds like “Did you hydrate today?” or “Your calendar’s a mess, I fixed it.” If that’s not love, what is?

So, dating a Virgo isn’t for the faint-hearted or the disorganized. It’s for those who appreciate order, quiet loyalty, and being gently but consistently told they’re using “their” wrong. It’s not chaos. It’s character development.